I watched a documentary on abc I think called Coming Home or something. It was about the Rwanda genocide from the eyes of a man who survived and went to live in England and US and then returned. He searched and found his mother after all those yrs. Both of them believed the other had been chopped up for dead. Anyway it was so disturbing, truly unbelievable, and utterly shocking to watch that I felt sick to my stomach and thought I would throw up. Especially after seeing the rows of old corpses stored in the school buildings where they tried to hide. The Hutus found them and machettied 40,000 people in that school alone in one night. I sat on the couch in shock for half an hour afterwards unable to move. It was like watching Earthlings for me all over again. Not the best bedtime viewing. Upon waking in the morning, all the images came back to haunt me and the same tension returned in my stomach. It was difficult to concentrate at work that day without wanting to cry or vomit!

I'm so sensitive to all this violence!

I recall similar feelings in school watching films about the Holocaust. I can still "see" in my mind's eye the skeletal corpses being dumped in a mass grave.

Darwins Nightmare.

I was vegetarian for many years until I worked in Rwanda for 2 years (2002-04). After a while of living there and working with people who'd been through so much, I noticed that I couldn't feel anything other than a vague sadness for the fact that I was starting to eat animals again. I couldn't understand why I'd changed so much... It had been so important to me before. Watching this film, it's like I've woken up again to what it is that we are doing to our fellow creatures. I think I must have somehow numbed myself because it's just so much to take on, to really look at humanity clearly and deal with the reality of what our global civilisation is doing. I must have closed down because I couldn't cope with it all I guess- Rwanda was too much. It's so strange what we do to cope with reality- how much we can kid ourselves... Thanks so much to the film makers for bringing me back round. Feel so so sad. But glad to have been slapped in the face...

Survival instinct...both fascinating and possibly tragic (that would be my sweet pessimism shining through) how we--living creatures all--cling to this life despite ourselves, despite the pain. I think that for some, having to shut ourselves down for bits here and there is pretty normal. It's how we make it through.

What intrigues me most is those of us--again, living creatures all--who, despite their personal experience of the horror, the terror and the pain, are able to respond to this life, this world and those in it with compassion and love...as opposed to what their experience has shown them.

According to Greek mythology, when Miss Pandora opened her infamous box (we won't go into how our Greek friends decided to blame this on a woman...goodness knows they're not alone), releasing all of the sorrows into the world, the last thing that emerged from this box, following all the sadness, all the madness...was hope.

Cheers to all you guys who keep it alive.

Hey I loved your post Charlie. Especially about Pandora's box! I cannot explain how in the midst of all our self created madness and violence in the world, I still harbour so much hope! I am helplessly optimistic!

Gary believes it is because I have children and it's instinctual for parents to be optimistic because they have to be! But I don't think so. I've always been hopelessly optimistic, along with being acutely aware of the nasty truth.