This the official vegan sulking page. No holds on emotions, crying, boo-hooin, irrational emotional eruptions, name-calling, swearing, angry bursts, shouting, growling, howling and just plain old sulking! Why? Because I need one! I need to sulk.

I've just been boo-hooin. Not about anything particularly big or super-important. Most of the time it's very easy being a vegan and I power thru my days and weeks. But every so often it catches up with me and I have a big sulk about it.

It's just crazy that I am surrounded by people who have no idea that they are in and a part of a world of torture and death. There's so much ignorance and unawareness it drives me mad sometimes. Or in this case, it drives me sad. I am in the middle of a Nazi holocaust against non-humans and no-body knows about it. It's like the animals are living in an invisible parallel dimension and everything we do affects their lives, but the people doing it to them don't know there's anything wrong with what they do or that they cause so much hurt.

I have a carer who looks after my 3 yr old son. She told me it was too hard to use non-vegan crafts and didn't want to do it anymore. She prefers to use "natural" products and ingredients for baking and craft making with the children. She prefers heavy fat butter for cooking and doesn't like low-fat non-dairy margarine. She prefers natural wool to sythetic wool. Like to use feathers and egg shells. She loves beeswax crayons instead of parafin wax crayons. I told her I had seen a video of what they do to sheep and there's nothing natural about it.

Driving home I just started to cry. I thought about the butter she was using to make scons with all the children's hands in the bowl. I had asked for my son not to help make it even tho he wasn't going to eat it. I remembered what I had recently learned about the suffering of dairy cows. That they get osteoporosis at a very young age because the milking machines suck them of all their calcium. Egg laying hens are the same -all their calcium goes into all the egg shells. Oh it's just so horrible what happens to all those animals. And then here's someone who just wants to use butter because it tastes good.

I know, I know she just doesn't know. But it still gets to me, you know? Just being this person who knows all this information surrounded by people who don't can really hurt. Sometimes my awareness can overwhelm me in this non-vegan world.

Anyway, Jeff came home for lunch and I got to cry at home with him. I'm lucky he's there to listen to my woes and understands EVERYTHING! Before Jeff there was no-one at all I could talk to about my vegan sadness.

We're going to make it easy for our carer and get a "Vegan craft pack" and a "vegan party pack" to leave at her house. The craft box will have wooden eggs for painting, sythetic wool and (maybe there's hemp wool out there to be "natural", coloured embroidery cotton, feathery-like synthetic yarn to be cut into pieces to be like feathers, soy-wax crayons (are they out there?). The vegan party pack contains vegan jelly, lollies, ice-cream, etc.

So that's one solution. My intense emotions today have fueled further conviction to take more action for the animals. Jeff and I will get our vegan talk ready to accompany the Earthlings movie and begin home screenings. Gulp! Our family included.